Drinks Like a Fish
by sparklecringe
Summary: Neku hates parties. Neku/Joshua, Shiki/Eri, underage drinking, drug use, language.


This fic was brought about via the following conversation:

Sister: "All of the TWEWY characters were recreated by Joshua from pieces of their memory following Shibuya's destruction by the Heartless." Nope

Me: OMG NO

Me: YOU CAN'T DESTROY SHIBUYA

ME: THAT ISN'T YOUR CALL TO MAKE ASSHOLES

Sister: ;~;

Sister: i mean i guess it's probably just parallel universe versions of the characters

Sister: but that's the thing

Sister: parallel universes are canon

Me: no

Me: fuck all this

Me: underage drinking parties in shibuya 5ever

Sister: are you actually going to write that

Me: probably

**Warnings** for strong language, depictions of underage drinking, drug use, one use of a slur, and a general sense of why the fuck would you do this.

**Pairings: **Neku/Joshua, Neku/some rando, Shiki/Eri

* * *

**Drinks Like a Fish**

Neku hates parties.

He hates the loud music, the thudding bass; the dull roar of conversation, drunken exuberance; the smell of vomit; people making out, Shiki carding her fingers through Eri's pretty pink hair because she's the touchy-feely tactile kind of drunk, seeking textures, affection. Eri just gives a wobbly smile and rests her head on Shiki's shoulder – the happy drunk, amongst friends. He's sitting in a corner of the living room with the two of them and Beat, at the house of some school friend of Shiki's and Eri's.

He could've been just as bored and irritable at home by himself.

Neku sighs deeply – he knows he's scowling. Beat, swigging deep from his bottle of beer, notices. Neku cringes away as Beat half-staggers forward, clapping him on the shoulder with one strong hand, waving his drink around with the other.

"Phones," he says seriously, "_Neku_. Listen t' me."

"Yes, Beat," Neku says, long-sufferingly.

"You don'- you don' _have _to be sad," Beat slurs, and Neku sighs inwardly because how many beers has he had, "Because you are _awesome. _And I-" and oh Jesus Christ is he _tearing up- _"-I _love _you, dude."

Eri and Shiki both giggle at this.

"Thanks, Beat," Neku grumbles, "Means the world. Really." Beat just nods solemnly, his eyes welling with tears as he continues to murmur 'don't be _sad_' in an imploring tone of voice, over and over again. Neku gives a thin smile, so as not to upset his friend, and gently removes his hand from his shoulder. Beat sits down next to him and promptly spills some of his beer on the floor.

"Awww, fuck," he moans, as Eri shrieks with laughter.

And just as Neku's cursing himself for agreeing to put himself through this party bullshit again, because 'it'll be _fun_' Shiki had said, 'get out of the house' Beat had said, and someone's staggering into the room and puking into a potted plant in the corner, a voice lilts, directly next to his ear, "Hasn't anyone ever told you that being the only sober person in a room full of drunks is no fun?"

Neku snaps.

"Get the fuck _off_ me, Joshua," he almost shouts, twisting away from the presence behind him. It's not like things haven't gotten better with Joshua, because they have. It's just that Neku is already in a bad mood and Joshua is aggravating at the best of times.

He doesn't even have the dignity to look surprised or offended. He's just smirking that stupid, fucking, _asshole _smirk of his, above a stupid, fucking, _asshole _lavender button-down with a black vest.

"My, Neku," he says, eyes glinting, "Is this how we treat friends who make the effort to come to social engagements just for your sake?"

Neku decides to ignore the 'just for your sake' bit. "You weren't even fucking invited," he says.

Joshua raises his eyebrows. "That's hardly relevant," he says.

Neku grits his teeth. "You don't know the host. You don't know_ anyone_ here," he says.

Joshua flutters his eyelashes. Neku wants to hit him. Just once. One good sock to the gut. "I know _you_, my dear," he says.

"Also the dead gay angel thing," slurs Shiki, abruptly. "Probably not too many party invites."

Joshua's eyes widen for a split second before he looks at her and _laughs_. Shiki giggles in return. Neku bristles at this traitorous bonding.

"Dead gay- huh?" Eri says, blinking, her eyes slightly unfocused.

"Shhh," Shiki murmurs, stroking her hair, "Don't worry. Finish your margarita. "

"I see we're in good spirits tonight," Joshua says to Shiki, pleasantly, as Eri shrugs and downs the rest of her cocktail in one go. He throws Neku a significant look. "Unlike _some_ of us."

Shiki waves her hand. The gesture is a little sluggish. "Neku's a party-pooper," she says.

"_Traitor,_" Neku grumbles.

"Well, you shouldn't be such a wet blanket," Shiki says, a little loudly, waving her drink at him, "_We're _all having fun."

"You're all on your way to getting trashed," Neku counters.

"Yeah, and it's fun," Shiki replies, shaking her glass at him aggressively.

Incensed, Neku shifts his glare to Beat, who suddenly seems fixated on staring at his bottle of beer.

"Oh, come on," Neku says, "You were just saying how awesome I am."

Beat shifts, clearly uncomfortable. "You can be awesome an' still be… a lil' bit of a drag sometimes, bro," he says. Neku's urge to slap his headphones on and go sulk in the bathroom intensifies.

Joshua claps his hands together. "Well, that settles it," he chirps, "Neku's going to give into peer pressure."

Neku just stares at him, mouth slightly open, because he cannot fucking _believe _this shit. Joshua and his fucking artfully mussed hair. His manipulative bullshit.

"Do it," Shiki says immediately.

Neku finds his voice. "I am not letting this- this _asshole _make decisions for me," he protests.

"No, but do it," Shiki insists.

"Fucking do it," Eri pipes up.

"Get wasted, bro," says Beat.

"I will, too," Joshua says airily.

"Oh, fuck off," snaps Neku, "I bet you can't even _get _drunk. This is all some elaborate plot to humiliate me."

"You have my word," insists Joshua.

"Gee whiz, promises from the dude who shot me," Neku drawls, "Boy, am I convinced now. What would you even need to drink for?"

"_Shot you_?" Eri repeats, eyes wide. Shiki, shooting Neku a filthy look for his carelessness, attempts to distract her by kissing her. Eri squeaks. Beat politely averts his eyes.

"What would I need to drink for?" muses Joshua, watching them for a moment with an amused expression on his face. He flicks his gaze to Neku. "Hmmm... perhaps… _fun?_"

Even while kissing Eri, Shiki responds to this with a thumbs-up. Joshua flashes unnervingly straight white teeth in a smile.

"… I'm going to do it, aren't I?" sighs Neku – it's barely a question.

"Shots," Eri immediately says, pulling away from Shiki. She looks up at her through long eyelashes. "Shots? Shots."

"Wow, that sounds like a good way to make me puke all over Joshua's nice clean shirt," Neku says, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I'm sure you aren't _that_ much of a lightweight, Neku, dear," Joshua replies lightly. He giggles when Neku silently flips him off.

"Should get a game of Ring of Fire goin'," Beat says.

"Please no drinking games-" Neku tries to plead, confronted with horrible visions of himself projectile vomiting spectacularly, but Eri is up on her knees with her hands in the air, letting go of her glass. It smashes, somewhere – Neku can hear the tinkling of breaking glass.

"RING OF FIRE!" she yells. "SOMEONE GET ME A FUCKING DECK OF CARDS."

And then people are cheering and crying their assent and Neku kind of wishes Joshua hadn't brought him back after shooting him the second time. Speaking of which, Neku bristles when he realises he's on the receiving end of a very sly look.

"Fun, Neku," Joshua reminds him, smirking.

* * *

Sanae's just lighting up as his phone chirps. He rolls his eyes and sets his lighter and contraption down, picking up his phone and flipping it open.

_Guess where I am x. _It mocks him.

Joshua. Sanae rolls his eyes a second time.

_Somewhere in the vicinity of Phones' pants? _So it's vulgar. It's exactly what Josh wants. Sanae really needs to quit this awful habit he has of indulging his Composer.

_Actually, yes. Teaching him a few lessons about the benefits of underage drinking._

Sanae raises his eyebrows._ Dangers. You mean dangers._

_But of course. _He can almost see the smirk.

_Well, you kids play safe. Consent, wrap it up, all that jazz. Don't go puking in any self-recycling water fountains or on each other anything. I'll think fondly of you while I sit here and get lit._

_Before you do, I might need someone to pick me up._

Sanae gives his phone an 'are-you-shitting-me-J' look. _What are you, fifteen?_

_Physically?_

_You are more than old enough to be responsible for yourself. I don't see why I should deprive myself of substance abuse while you're out getting wasted and kissing all da boyz. _

_Are you saying you don't want to see the Composer of Shibuya home safely? _Another eye-roll at the proper title. _I feel like that might contravene your duties._

_Get a cab. _He pauses, then texts, _xox._

And with that, Sanae closes his phone and sets it down on the table. He eyes it for a moment, then slides it across the table for good measure. It chirps again. Sanae ignores it, flicking his lighter to life.

* * *

Joshua snaps his phone shut and shoves it into his pocket with no small amount of irritation. Neku gives a soft snort of laughter through his nose, which, annoyingly enough, seems to just make Joshua compose himself, flicking his hair out of his face.

"Shall I mix dear Neku's drink?" he asks Shiki and Beat, Eri away from the makeshift bar, recruiting people for the game.

"Go for it," Shiki says, immersed in fashioning margaritas for her and Eri before the game starts.

"Nothin' too strong," Beat says. He flicks his eyes to Neku apologetically. "Not first up, anyhow." Neku shrugs, appreciating the concern. To some extent, he at least trusts that Beat won't let him make a dick of himself _too _much.

Beat looks surprised when Neku tells him this, but he smiles after a moment. "Aw, dude," he says, "You'd do the same for me, right?", knowing that Neku would.

As long as there was no threat of Beat knocking his teeth out.

It was always a possibility with Beat.

"Safe, but ultimately wise," Joshua sighs, as if he's disappointed. He probably is. Asshole.

"I could always ruin that nice shirt of yours, like I said," Neku says cheerily.

"I'm terribly flattered you think it's nice, Neku," Joshua counters, just as cheerily.

Neku doesn't miss the significant look that passes between Shiki and Beat. Beat clears his throat and swigs from his bottle of beer. Shiki just rolls her eyes. Joshua seems to be too engaged with prowling amongst the liquor bottles to notice. His eyes light up after a moment, fingers reaching for a tall green bottle.

"Here you go, dear," he says, when he's done mixing.

Neku eyes the glass of clear liquid with suspicion. "What is it?" he asks, pointedly ignoring the pet name. As he always does. World without end.

"It's a gin and tonic," Joshua says, "Not too hard. It would be terribly embarrassing to vomit after one drink, after all."

"You are _hysterical_," Neku snaps, accepting the drink stiffly. He narrows his eyes at Joshua. "And what will _you_ be drinking? Something fruity, I suppose?"

"Not quite as fruity as your fine self, Neku dear," Joshua says sweetly.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Shiki says, almost slamming the bottle of tequila down.

"What?" Neku says, turning to look at her, thankful for the distraction from Joshua.

"Do yourself a favour shotgun that drink," says Shiki, a strange, dangerous light in her eyes. "Now."

"What? Why-?" Shiki interrupts him with a growl, reaching out to grab him by the wrist and forcing the glass to his mouth. Rather than protest and end up with alcohol all down his shirt, Neku, feeling like an idiot, relents and tips his head back, letting the drink flow into his mouth.

The taste is unfamiliar, and he squints as it burns a little on the way down. He keeps swallowing until Shiki removes the glass, and then he coughs, spluttering a little against the slight burn. By the time he's recovered, Beat is nodding his approval, and Joshua is holding another out to him with a smug expression on his face. Shiki looks pleased with herself.

"Acceptable?" Joshua asks, looking at him closely. Neku fights the urge to fidget.

"… I guess," he says, taking the glass from Joshua's hand. Their fingers brush – Neku flicks his eyes up to meet Joshua's, and is met with a giggle. Neku frowns and has to remind himself not to snatch his hand back.

"… What about you?" he asks, ignoring the heat creeping up his neck.

Joshua shrugs. "Brandy?"

"Pffft," Beat interjects. "What're you, like eighty?"

"Do you also enjoy golfing with your fellow retirees and wearing sock garters?" Shiki teases him.

"_Or_ I could simply commandeer the tequila once you're finished with it," he says, idly, obviously annoyed. Neku likes how it looks on him.

"_That's_ the spirit." Eri emerges from the crowd and wraps her arms around Shiki's waist from behind. "Hiya," she croons. Shiki hums her acknowledgement.

Eri turns to the rest of them. "X is tracking down a deck of cards." Her eyes light on Neku and his drink. She grins. "See?"

"… It's not so bad," Neku says grudgingly, taking a reserved sip. He dodges Beat reaching out to make him down more. "Cut it _out_!" he snaps.

"Then fuckin' drink it properly," Beat counters. "C'mon, I'll race ya."

"_Properly?_" But Beat has already started knocking his beer back. Neku rolls his eyes and, against his better judgement, follows suit. Beat wins, but this time Neku barely even coughs. Achievement. Beat thumps him on the back with a grin.

"I motion we all do a shot to commemorate Neku's loss of innocence," Joshua trills, gesturing idly to the bottle of tequila.

"I motion that you're a creepy fuck," Neku replies instantly, "Enough fucking innuendo."

"Oh, but Neku, there's never enough innuendo," Joshua replies, fluttering his lashes in a way that he clearly thinks is coquettish. Maybe he's right, whatever.

"Or body shots," Eri pipes up, eyes lighting up as Shiki hands her her drink, "Never enough of those, either."

"Not drunk enough yet," Neku says haughtily, even if he is starting to feel suspiciously light.

"_Yet_?" Beat repeats, raising an eyebrow. Neku just stares at him, lips slightly parted, because fuck, he _did _justsay that, didn't he?

In a move that Neku feels is stunningly out of character, Joshua interrupts at this point. "Well, we'll note that happy idea down for later, shall we?" he says, pressing a shot glass into Neku's free hand. "As for now…" he gestures to where three other shots are line up on the table.

"I like this guy," Eri says, licking the back of her hand. "I respect a prissy dude who isn't afraid to get fucking sloppy."

Joshua smirks as he hands her a salt shaker. "I don't really do, ah, 'sloppy'."

"Yeah? You will if you keep hammering the tequila all night," Eri tells him, shaking salt out onto her hand.

"Perhaps I will, at that. Lick your hand, Neku," Joshua reminds him, nudging him with his elbow.

Neku does what might be a stupid thing – he holds Joshua's gaze steadily as he drags his tongue across the junction between his thumb and forefinger with a slow deliberateness – but fuck, whatever, he does what he wants and Joshua can go and get fucked.

Said smug fuck Composer doesn't say anything. He doesn't do a whole lot in response, actually, other than go a little pale and widen his eyes. Neku just smiles at him, trying to make it as saccharine as possible.

Then the lemon wedges come out, and Beat is counting down from three. Neku keeps eye contact with Joshua as he licks the salt off his hand, closing his eyes when he knocks the shot back and jams the lemon into his mouth, holding his breath. He coughs this time, because that shit_ burns_.

"Tastes like _shit_," he rasps, blinking tears from his eyes.

Beat claps him on the shoulder. "You just gotta get used to it," he says encouragingly.

"Whatever, another G&T," Neku shrugs, reaching for the green bottle from before. He pauses, then turns to Joshua. "What'd you use to measure?"

Joshua widens his eyes innocently. "Measure? I was free-pouring, dear."

"Oh god," says Shiki, shooting Neku a wary look.

Neku considers this. He should probably be angry.

"Whatever," he says again, cracking the bottle open and pouring the contents free.

"Whoa, _Jesus_, Phones, slow down!" Beat exclaims, grabbing his wrist, "We can work our way up to drinks that are half spirits, yeah?"

Neku shrugs and lets him pour the drink.

* * *

Eri is the first of their group to draw – a six. "Dicks," she says, disappointed as all the guys in the circle drink.

"Our time will come," Shiki says sagely. Eri blows her fringe out of her eyes.

The first card Neku draws is an eight. "Okay?" he says, because like he can remember the rules.

"Mate. Or date," Eri tells him, Neku not missing the sly look that crosses her face. "Pick someone to drink with for the rest of the game.

After four drinks with progressively more gin included, Neku is tipsy enough for the answer to be obvious. "You," he says, turning to face Joshua, who is sitting on his right.

"Picking on me, are we, Neku dear?" Josh says, smirking.

Neku smiles back, raises his drink in a mock toast. _I'm going to annihilate you._

Joshua pours himself another shot of tequila. Neku watches him knock it back, notices the way he doesn't shudder at all. Asshole.

Joshua draws. "Ah, the first ace," he chirps. He leans forward to pour tequila into the beer stein at the centre of the circle of cards. Some of the group groans in dismay when he pours just a little too long.

"_Dude_," says a guy with a shock of fire engine red hair, pretentious in latex pants, "You're gonna kill somebody."

Joshua settles back on his haunches and smiles. "Scared?" Neku raises his eyebrows at the tone of voice his using – that smug, flirty tone of voice he uses when he's-

Talking to Neku.

He takes a plaintive swig of his drink when Beat draws another six, watching Joshua knock back his shot. He's suspicious, and who wouldn't be, Joshua being the poisonous fucking snake that he is. Then someone draws a King and gets to make a rule - no swearing. The group groans in unison.

"We're all gonna get _so _fucking sloppy," Eri remarks, and everyone jeers as she rolls her eyes and takes a drink.

The game continues around the circle – Latex Trousers draws a Jack, which results in a lot of 'ooohing' and catcalls. Shiki catches Neku's confused expression, and bats her eyelids and puckers her lips. Neku nods, shooting a furtive glance at Joshua. His smirk is still in place, as always, making direct eye contact with Latex Trousers. Latex Trousers doesn't back down, kind of sweeping his gaze down Joshua's body and holy shit he just checked Joshua out and they're maybe eye-fucking a little.

Joshua notices Neku watching him. "Yes, dear?" he says, almost sarcastically.

He's fucking with him, Neku realises. Trying to… what, make him _jealous_? Like Neku really gives a shit. Between the whole murdering thing and being an insufferable prick deal. Like Neku is even interested. He's just mad that Joshua thinks this bullshit is going to work on him.

Neku wonders idly if his Composer powers extend to influencing card games. He decides that such petty bullshit is definitely not below Joshua.

Eri draws and receives the title of Thumb Master. It isn't a chance to drink, but she gives a wide, sinister grin all the same. Shiki draws her card, flings it down – a seven - and immediately points to the sky. Neku, remembering the rule, Heaven, deliberately raises his hand last. He drinks, but, more importantly, so does Joshua. He catches his eye, answers Joshua's smirk with a smirk of his own.

Neku bites his lip as he draws – a five. He laughs – he gets to dish out five drinks. "One for Eri, since she's been so patient," he declares, deciding to ignore the fact that he's slurring. Just a little.

"Cheers!" Eri says, beaming.

"… an' the other four for dearest darling Joshua," he says sweetly.

A momentary silence descends over the circle. Joshua's eyes widen a fraction.

"I don't know if you're so drunk you've forgotten, dear," Joshua says, and Neku can _hear _the clench in his jaw, "But I'm doing straight shots."

"Mmmmmm," Neku replies, nodding.

"Of tequila."

"And?"

Joshua's expression flickers for a split second, the smirk dropping. He recovers quickly, though, the fucking bastard, but Neku thinks that another four shots may hamper that a little. "Ah, well," he says, airily, "I suppose I left myself open for this."

Neku thinks that Joshua kinda sorta looks a little elegant as he does all four shots in a row, way too elegant for someone who's well on his way to being trashed, and everyone else must think so too because he gets a round of applause.

The game continues its loop. Eri touches her thumb to the floor at one point. Neku is deliberately last to copy again, resulting in another drink for he and Joshua.

Joshua's hair is all mussed up from the way he keeps running his fingers through it as he laughs.

He touches his hair a lot, Neku notices.

Latex Trousers staring. Probably noticing the same thing.

Vain fuck. He's such a vain _fuck_.

Neku realises too late that he's also staring right about the time that Joshua glances at him, and now Joshua's staring at _him_, and how this delightful, infuriating little table has turned.

Oh, fuck.

And then the world is lurching as he loses his balance and slips sideways. He might've knocked his drink over, too, whatever.

"Taxi!" yells Beat, as the circle erupts into laughter.

"Fuck you," Neku says belligerently from the floor, but he laughs when Eri shrieks '_drink!' _at him. And then Josh is pouring tequila into what's left of his drink with a slightly hysterical giggle and Neku is sculling it back, spilling a little okay maybe a lot and someone's hand is in his hair and then his glass is removed from his hand.

"'kay, time to switch to water," Beat's voice floats over, and Neku groans.

"Nooooooo." He's definitely not whining.

"Uh, yeah, because fucked if I'm gonna deal with you puking on yourself," Beat replies. He grabs Neku's shoulders and shakes him a little. "Come on, sit up, dude."

"He's alright," Joshua . "You have to drink nowww," he trills.

And Beat does. "You're switchin' too, you drunk bastard."

"_Um_." Neku can't quite figure out how Joshua manages to sound so affronted with just one syllable.

To prove his point, Beat reaches out and shoves Joshua's shoulder gently. Joshua makes a small noise of alarm as he promptly loses his balance. This is met with laughter.

"Spaz," jeers Neku.

"Oh, get fucked," Joshua says, and Neku will realise later that this is the first time he's ever heard Joshua curse, "_You_ can't even get up off the floor."

Neku forcibly drags himself up from the carpet. It's a struggle – if he were sober, he might be embarrassed, but he's not, and it's an amazing, triumphant victory. "Now who's getting fucked?" he demands.

Joshua, despite the fact that he's clearly having trouble focusing his eyes, doesn't miss a beat. "Still you." Cue jeering, laughter, and Neku's laughing, too, and _why_ hasn't he done this before?

They've broken the no swearing rule about six times over, but in the end Shiki goes all motherly on the both of them, just like Beat, and on some level, Neku loves them both for it, beautiful angels who are helping him not vomit and stain the nice plush carpet through the miracle of hydration.

On another, more shallow level, he kind of hates them for ruining his fun, but he promptly forgets about that when he realises it's his turn to draw.

"Jack," he says, fumbling to remember the rule. He's keenly aware of Joshua taking a sharp breath. He jumps as Shiki actually _screams_.

"_Ooooooh." _The rest of the group, all in hushed tones.

"Mack!" someone says brightly, probably Eri. A happy little rhyme. Like a children's book.

Latex Trousers is leering at him.

Neku takes a moment to piece all of this together.

"_Oh_," he says in a small voice, his eyes widening. He can feel himself practically glowing with how hard he's blushing. "Uh," he fumbles. "Um."

He's kind of shitting himself.

For some stupid fucking reason, he throws a glance at Joshua. He's really fucking drunk so Joshua's neutral expression is impossible to read. He blinks rapidly, his expression flickering to one that might involve narrowed eyes and a clenched jaw but it's gone too quickly, replaced by his usual smirk.

"How." A pause. "_Amusing._"

Neku feels dizzy. Dizzy, but drunkenly vindictive. He smiles at Joshua. It's mostly genuine.

Shiki's hand is on his shoulder.

"All good?" She's giving him an out. He loves her so much. So much. He wishes he was kissing her instead because he loves her _so much_, but he has a desperate need in his soul piss Joshua the fuck off, and this opportunity, this beautiful, latex-covered opportunity, has sleazily reared its head, and fuck him if he's not going to take it.

"All good." Shiki squeezes his shoulder gently, before letting him go.

He glances up. Latex Trousers isn't so bad looking, he supposes. His jawline is kind of, you know, nice. Green eyes. It's pretty awkward that Neku can pretty much see his dick through his pants, but whatever.

Neku doesn't give himself time to reflect on exactly when he might've started noticing shit like this about other dudes, because _really_, fucking jaw lines, dragging himself forward, closer to the centre of the circle. Latex Trousers moves forward to meet him.

They make eye contact. It's super awkward, this close. Not as awkward as the semi this guy looks like he could be sporting, but still, pretty awkward.

Neku bites his lip.

Latex Trousers grins sharply – Neku notices his teeth are sort of crooked - and pounces. Neku takes this opportune moment to remember that he's never kissed anyone before because he's really just never gotten around to it and that he's probably going to make a fucking idiot of himself, but the next second his lips are pressed against the other boy's and Neku's mind goes blank, his hands reflexively snapping up to grasp at the other boy's upper arms as shrieks and other exclamations he can't be fucked processing well up around them.

Latex Trousers opens his mouth a little. Neku's running on autopilot and does the same, and then hey, Frenching.

He tastes like beer and not much else besides. Maybe cigarettes. Definitely cigarettes. Neku thinks that's probably not supposed to be what he takes away from this whole experience.

Then there's even _more_ tongue, and yeah, this is really fucking awkward now, because, uh, settle down, dude, Neku kind of has no idea what the fuck he's actually doing.

Oh, yeah. Getting to Joshua.

Latex Trousers makes a noise as Neku pulls away, and, yup, _that's _definitely a semi. Not really what Neku was looking for. Not at all.

"Ahaha." Joshua laughing, not giggling for once. Kind of strained. "I have to vomit."

And then he's up and sort of staggering away.

"W-" Neku cuts himself off, because wait for _what, _Neku?

"... Are you two…?" Latex Trousers says, realisation dawning across his face.

"_No_," Neku says instantly, defensively, "I want to shoot the prick." It's true. Kind of. He'd definitely deserve it.

Latex Trousers shrugs. "Cool," he says, leaning forward again.

Neku shoots out a hand to stop him right the fuck where he is. "Uh," he says, "I think I need to puke, too."

Shiki sighs. "Beat _did _try to tell you," she says, dramatically, her voice loud with a drunken lack of inhibition. Even drunk, she's sharp as a tack. Shiki and her outs. Such a good friend.

Neku makes a big show of staggering to his feet and leaving the room, taking his water with him. It's incredibly difficult to navigate an unfamiliar house when inebriated. After spending way too much time stepping over puddles of puke with a grace he simply does not have in his current state of intoxication, and walking in on not one, not two, but three different couples probably doing a lot more than making out (not that Neku can tell, clapping a hand over his eyes and yelling his apologies as he stumbles from the room oh god), eventually he finds Joshua sitting on the back deck, staring out into the night, bottle of tequila in hand, the moody, self-absorbed fuck.

"_Ugh_," he actually groans as Neku sits down next to him.

"Uh, hello to you to, you rude asshole," Neku replies, immediately regretting this particular life choice. "Want some water?"

Nothing.

"Joshua? Hi there."

Nope. Not even looking at him.

His jaw is clenched again.

"You're actually _mad _at me," Neku says, realisation washing over him. "You…" he trails off, watching Joshua as his shoulders tense. "Wait, are you _upset_?"

A sharp, breathy laugh. Joshua's hand tightens into a fist.

Oh god. He's right.

Neku loses it.

"Are you _fucking kidding me_?!" he almost yells, and _that _gets Joshua to look at him, eyes growing wide as he looks up. "After all the shit _you've_ pulled?! After what _you've_ put _me _through?!"

Joshua rolls his eyes. "Oh, _here_ we go," he says, speech slurring around the edges.

"_Shut,_" Neku snatches the tequila bottle away, "The _actual fuck up. _You _complete fucking __**bastard**__._"

Joshua just barely has time to squeeze his eyes shut as Neku dumps the tequila over his head. He actually _gasps_. It's pretty satisfying.

"And I guess you're gonna to hold _that _one against me, too, right?" Neku snaps, and the dam holding back all the anger he hasn't vented from the last few months not just bursting but _exploding_, enjoying the sight of Joshua wiping tequila out of his face and pushing his fringe back, because _fuck him_, "Like, despite all of your psychotic, manipulative fuckin' bullshit, despite the fact that you _shot _me, not once, but fuckin' _twice_, Joshua, but that's okay, right, because you had some bullshit magical _purpose _so, whatever, you do what you want and who gives a flying fuck about _anyone else_?"

Joshua looks at him mutely, wet fringe down dripping onto his forehead, probably still in shock. That's okay, though, because Neku would rather punch his lights out than let him get a word in.

"Like, I'm _so_ fucking sorry, Joshua, but if you think this is an even slightly okay reaction to- to me having one shit kiss with some random dude _you _were eye-fucking all night _anyway _as part of a game _you _pressured me into playing, and don't even try to deny that getting me drunk to fuck with me some more isn't _exactly _why you're here because I will fucking _hit _you, then- well, you fucking got _exactly _what you wanted, so here it fucking is. Wasted Neku. Is it as much fun as you wanted to be?" Neku throws more than spreads his hands apart. It's an aggressive gesture, a furious _'tah-dah!'. _"'Cause it's not fucking fun for me right now, so I hope _someone's _getting something out of this, apart from Latexpants McHalfboner back there!"

His throat is starting to hurt from yelling. Joshua stays silent, watching him intently. Neku doesn't even know if he's listening. He doesn't particularly care, either, because this isn't about Joshua, he's _sick_ of fucking everything being about Joshua, like almost everything has been since the Reaper's Game.

"It's like you're literally fucking incapable of not being a complete fucking asshole. This didn't _have _to be a fucking game. You didn't _have _to involve that douchebag. And then when it backfires on you, because god fucking forbid I have _one, tiny, insignificant _win over you, you throw a fucking _tantrum. _This is _your _fault. _You _did this. _You've _been fucking with me since day one, _you're _the one who was so eager for me to get trashed, _you're _the one who made some bullshit attempt to make me jealous, so, fuck you, Joshua, you can actually deal with the fucking consequences of your bullshit for once."

He wipes his eyes. _Awesome_. Tears of anger. Joshua's probably struggling not to laugh.

He glares at Joshua. "Nothing to say?"

Joshua just looks at him. Dance music pounds through the closed sliding door.

"Oh, go fake your death again," he spits, suddenly feeling very tired, "Stay dead, this time. Fuck this shit. Why do I even _bother _with you? If you actually treated me like a fucking partner, then maybe…"

Fuck it. He's done.

"Maybe what?" Joshua says, his voice soft. Barely audible.

Neku lets out a harsh bark of laughter. Fun is officially over. Thank you, Joshua.

"I don't _know, _Joshua," he says, his voice dark, "Maybe this would've been different, for starters."

"So what you're saying with all of that," Joshua murmurs, looking pensive, "Is that you have feelings for me?"

Neku is actually speechless, incandescent with rage, for a good two minutes.

"Feelings. Yeah. I hate you," he finally manages, his voice trembling, "So much."

"I know." No smirk. Nothing.

Neku fists a hand in Joshua's collar, jerking him in close. "I should've killed you," he whispers, his eyes welling with tears again.

Joshua shrugs. "Some would agree," he says, impassive. "It was your choice, in the end."

"You're not playing with me." It's an observation.

"Maybe not." He shrugs again. "I suppose you'll have to trust me, won't you?"

Neku squeezes his eyes shut against the sting of tears, all these horrible, thrashing feelings he's too drunk to deal with right now. He doesn't so much as kiss Joshua as lunge forward and try to hurt him the only way he can think of right now.

When Joshua cards his fingers through Neku's hair, Neku responds by fisting a hand in Joshua's and _yanking_, succeeding in drawing a soft noise from Joshua's throat.

When Joshua puts a hand to the small of Neku's back, drawing them closer to one another, Neku sinks his teeth into Joshua's lip. The taste of blood blossoms across Neku's tongue.

"_Ah_," Joshua breathes, breaking away.

"Don't you fucking dare," Neku hisses, fist still in Joshua's collar, forcing him back into the kiss. Once they're there, though, Neku's a little lost. Joshua picks up on this.

"Here," he murmurs, and then suddenly he's in Neku's lap, open mouth on Neku's.

"_No,_" Neku snaps, because he can tell that Joshua is trying to take control again. On impulse, he lowers his head and sinks his teeth into Joshua's neck, trying to break skin. Joshua takes in a shuddering breath.

"You don't know what you're doing," he says, sounding vaguely annoyed, somehow.

"Oh, _you_ do?" Neku says coolly. "This is what you wanted?"

"Stop talking," says Joshua, petulantly, "You're hysterical and I'm too drunk for this discussion – we both are."

"Scared you'll say something you regret?" Neku challenges.

"Maybe." Joshua's voice lowers, "Or maybe I just want to mack on you, to use the vernacular."

Neku just raises his eyebrows, giving Joshua an incredulous look. All the anger and the hurt vanishes, drains out of him, leaves him feeling tired and defenceless. He's vulnerable without his blind rage to protect him. He should probably get up and leave.

He doesn't.

Joshua's lip is still bleeding, and before Neku knows what he's doing, he's reaching out to wipe the blood away with his thumb. Joshua blinks at him, obviously a little fucking surprised.

Whatever. Neku's making lots of great decisions tonight.

"Sorry," he mumbles.

"It's only blood," Joshua says, indifferently. Neku can't take his eyes off his bleeding lip.

"Jesus Christ," he moans, burying his face in Joshua's shoulder.

"Yes, dear?" His voice is still soft, but amused.

"Stop it." Neku whacks at his chest. "You smell like booze."

"And whose fault is that?" He can feel Joshua bristle.

"Yours."

"Of course it is." Joshua tone is impatient, but an arm wraps around his back, and now they're, what, cuddling? Under the stars? How did this even happen?

They stay like that for a moment. Neku can feel how thin Joshua is, pressed against him. It's cold, outside – it must be after midnight. Neku grabs a weak fistful of Joshua's shirt.

"You weren't manipulating the game, then," he says quietly.

Joshua snorts. "_Please_."

"You were jealous." Accusing.

"No, I was affronted at how that slobbering fool moistly ruined your first kiss." A roll of the eyes.

"You think you could've done better?" A challenge.

"Yes."

"You think I _wanted _you to?"

"Yes." _Of course you did._

Of course he did.

"This is… fucked," Neku tells Joshua, tightening his fist in his shirt, because Joshua may not realise this yet and he feels like he should at least try to let him know. "This is so fucked."

"Are you quite done?" Joshua says impatiently, "Because, really, though I _could_ sit here and listen to you wax poetic all night, I do have to say it's not terribly high on my list of-"

Neku doesn't get to find out exactly what list of Joshua's listening to him isn't terribly high on, because he's too busy leaning in to kiss him, nothing more than a soft brush of his lips against Joshua's, really. It's a pretty effective way of shutting Joshua the fuck up, though, and the way it makes heart thump so hard it must be audible is kind of nice, too.

He pulls back a fraction. At this distance, Joshua's eyes are huge and sparkling with some kind of malicious glee. He's kind of flushed. Neku's heart is currently lodged somewhere in his throat.

"Oh," he says, faintly.

"Hmm?"

"I feel…" He _feels_. And Joshua's _blushing_, a little, and just what the fuck. What the _fuck._

"I…" Joshua actually hesitates.

"Yeah?"

"… Would you mind terribly if I just wrote a quick text to Sanae-"

For fuck's sake.

"No, you are not texting live updates to Mr. H, you fucking freak. Give me your phone," Neku interrupts, holding his hand out, because he cannot _believe _this shit, "Then we mack. And only then."

Joshua has the audacity to roll his eyes. "Spoilsport," he says sourly, handing over his phone. Neku considers it a victory. "Satisfied?"

"Yup. Come here, you prick," he says, his voice low, and Joshua's answering giggle is kind of rough around the edges in a way that makes Neku shiver a little.

It feels too good for Neku to think too much about how it hurts. The deck is hard and uncomfortable beneath them, and it's cold enough for Neku's skin to break out in goosebumps, but his heart is pounding and the strangest fucking feeling is creeping down his spine and-

And then he's made out of stars and they're all shining and he's going up in flames and he's the first day of autumn he's the pressure on the lungs when you dive too deep he's ivy blooming flowers in the ruins of ages past he's the centre of the entire fucking universe he's a CAT mural he's CAT's whole fucking _message_ he's pure lightning all terrible and beautiful and soundless he's a cinemascope of Shibuya in the rain-

"_Holy fucking __**SHIT**__," _and he isn't even sure if he said that out loud but Joshua is laughing as he trembles and fights to _breathe, _and he thinks he might be on fire, maybe the both of them are. "What the fuck was _that_?", because that sure as shit didn't happen during his last kiss.

"I told you I could do better," Joshua says, dripping in smug. He is smug personified and it's totally, _totally _justified.

"Uh do that again please?" He's not babbling. Definitely not.

"This is probably a terrible idea," Joshua announces, looking altogether unconcerned for such a statement.

"No, but for real, fuck you, do it again."

"Good thing my inhibitions are compromised." Joshua shrugs. "Close your eyes," he says, and Neku does.

And then Joshua is touching his fucking _soul _or something and oh god oh my god and he thinks he might be whimpering that last bit out loud and then Joshua laughs and kisses him again and "You're _playing_me," he murmurs, all wonder and static. Joshua just goes 'hmmm' and Neku isn't even sure if he has a body anymore.

_CRASH_.

Neku definitely doesn't scream.

"Daisukeno_jo_," Joshua snaps, suddenly shooting an absolutely filthy, livid stare beyond Neku's head. "If you're going to insist on being a voyeur then at least have the decency to be _quiet_?"

Neku realises that Joshua's hand has somehow found its way under the waistband of his pants. Somehow. Yeah, right.

"Are you fucking serious?" he asks, deadpan. Joshua smiles at him and takes his hand away, as if Neku has just caught him stealing a beer or something.

"I'm sorry oh god I'm so sorry Shiki made me come check just in case you guys were like killing each other," Beat is meanwhile babbling, his beer bottle shattered at his feet, "I didn't think you would be getting busy-"

"_Beat_," Neku says, a little despairingly, glancing over his shoulder. Beat looks utterly shamefaced.

"I'll just, uh, leave you guys to it, yeah?" Beat says, quickly, starting to edge back through the door.

"How kind of you!" Joshua exclaims, bitterly sarcastic, rolling his eyes.

"... Be careful where you jizz, yeah?"

"_**BEAT**__!"_ Not shrieking. Not shrieking. Joshua, on the other hand, seems to find this hilarious, actually doubling over to laugh behind his hands.

"It's just _manners_, bro!" Beat says defensively, as he disappears back inside.

Neku stares resentfully at Joshua as he continues to laugh. "Not funny," he grumbles.

"Oh, it really is," Joshua informs him.

"How long did you know he was watching us?" Neku asks him, and the half-crazed grin he gets in response is _not_ comforting. "You… fuck you. You can't just go for my… _pants_… when people are watching!"

"Perhaps 'people' shouldn't be watching in the first place, then," Joshua says, idly.

"Uh, or perhaps you should _ask _next time. You do realise we have about ten seconds max before Shiki and Eri turn up-"

"No, please," Shiki bursts through the door, flanked by Eri and Beat, some rad synth and fresh beats trailing behind them, "Don't stop on our account."

"Right on cue," Neku sighs, crestfallen.

Eri stumbles over, sitting down next to Joshua. She solemnly holds her hand up for a high-five. Joshua smirks and obliges her.

"… Are you soaked in tequila?" she asks after a moment, wrinkling her nose. Joshua throws Neku an annoyed look.

Neku shrugs. "He deserved it," he says casually. "_Hey!" _he cries in alarm, as Joshua leans over and shoves his hand directly into Neku's pocket. Shiki makes an odd squeaking noise, which tapers off abruptly as Joshua pulls out his phone.

"Oh," she says, sounding vaguely disappointed.

Neku gives her an incredulous look. "I," he tells his closest friend, "Am not a sex object."

"Yes," his closest friend replies, "You are." Neku is aware of Joshua nodding in agreement even as he texts.

"Can you stop fucking texting Mr. H?" Neku demands.

"I can," Joshua says evasively, clearly having no intention of doing so.

"Can you even spell right now?" Neku asks, frustrated that Joshua feels the need to do this.

"I'll admit, I'm having difficulty," says Joshua, obviously frowning at his spellcheck.

"Make out buddy the first ended up drinking the pint," Eri informs them, "He puked. Everywhere. It was great." She turns to Neku. "He called you a faggot," she says, as if commenting on the weather.

Neku raises an eyebrow. "Um, pretty sure I wasn't the only one kissing dudes."

"After you chased after your friend here. Someone was _jelly_," Eri sing-songs. "Then Beat punched him in the face. Fucking awesome."

Beat shrugs. "Any fucker who thinks they can talk about Phones like that can fuck right off," he scowls, sitting down next to Neku.

"Wow. I…" He grabs Beat's hand before he really knows what he's doing. Or, he realises once he's done it, taking a second to think about how it might make Beat uncomfortable. "Thank you," he says, a little hesitantly.

Beat, to his credit, only looks surprised for a second before he waves him off. "'s cool," he says, "Asshole had it comin'. You can mack on whoever the fuck you want." Beat gives his hand a manly squeeze before letting go.

A brief silence falls.

"So," Shiki says, her expression sly, "Speaking of macking-"

"_No_," Neku says firmly, as Joshua begins to snigger.

* * *

_haahahAHAa. macked on neku, _are the words that greet Sanae when he wakes.

_tequila. in my hiar tho, _is the addendum.

* * *

Neku wakes suddenly to find early morning sunlight streaming through the window. That's the first thing he notices.

The second thing is that he's curled up on the living room floor next to Joshua, who is currently dead to the world, and all he can smell is alcohol.

_Awesome. _

Avoiding the urge to scream, Neku just groans quietly as he tries not to think about the events earlier in the night. He glances around – Shiki and Eri are on the couch above his head, Beat lying on the floor with his back facing Neku and Joshua.

Neku suddenly places the overpowering stench of alcohol – Joshua. He has a very clear image of pouring tequila over Joshua's head, and-

"Nope," he whispers to himself, instead rolling over so the smell is mostly behind him. Joshua makes a noise in his sleep, and then an arm is draping itself over Neku's midsection.

Fucking whatever. He'll deal with this later, he thinks, closing his eyes again.

* * *

It's a nice house, Sanae thinks, as he rings the doorbell. A little yuppie for his tastes - the furniture probably all matches and everything - but nice all the same.

It takes a full minute for the door to be answered by a poor, drawn-out looking girl covered with glitter. She just stares at him.

She looks wrecked.

"Hi there," says Sanae, "I'm here to pick up Joshua. Skinny kid, ash blond hair?"

"You his dad?" she asks, looking wary.

Oh, right. The whole looking-like-an-adult deal.

"Uh, well, no," Sanae says, "I'm his cousin. I'm… nineteen."

It's such a fucking lie and the girl clearly doesn't believe him. "Whatever," she says, "I'm already in so much fucking trouble anyway. I'm gonna go hang out with the toilet some more. You can go find your cousin, he's probably passed out somewhere." She turns to pad off down the hall.

"Hope you had a good birthday," Sanae says good-naturedly.

"Wasn't my birthday," she says.

"Oh." Well, he tried.

The poor girl _is_ going to be in so much trouble, judging from all the puddles of puke (and what looks to be other bodily fluids), broken glass and explosions of glitter Sanae has to step over. He senses his way to the living room, where he finds a gaggle of sleeping teenagers. He pauses at the doorway to write a quick text – _wakey wakey, _then wanders into the room_. _

Joshua actually sleeps through his ringtone, the bastard. Neku Sakuraba, who is currently being spooned by the Composer, does not, blinking awake blearily.

"Fucking hell…" he mutters.

_Interesting. _

"Hiya, Phones," Sanae says, as if the kid has just wandered into the shop after school and is not currently being cuddled by his boss.

"Hey, Mr. HARGH." Neku abruptly pulls himself into a sitting position, clearly remembering where he is and who he's pressed up against. Joshua actually growls, obviously being pulled into the land of the living against his will. Sanae has to fight the urge to laugh.

"Please shut up, Neku," Shiki says, not opening her eyes. She hides her face against Eri's back.

Sanae prods Joshua with his foot, getting a strangled groan in response. "Wakey wakey," he sing-songs, "I've come to pick up _The Composer of Shibuya_, just like you asked."

Joshua mutters something that sounds like it might include the word 'fuck' at least eight times, throwing an arm over his head.

"Did The Composer have a swell time?" Sanae asks kindly.

"Sanae," Joshua says shortly, his voice rough.

"Yes, J?" he says, keeping his tone sweet.

"Fuck you."

"Aw, you don't mean that. Is there a reason you reek of rubbing alcohol?"

He isn't terribly surprised to not get an answer to that particular question. Neku's grimace before he hides his face is pretty telling, though.

He takes stock of them all – Beat shaking himself awake, looking decent, all things considered. Shiki peering over Eri's shoulder as the other girl snores softly. Joshua looking about as white as paper, shirt all creased. Neku sitting with his head in his hands.

"You kids good for a ride home?" he asks.

**END.**


End file.
